


A Nessian Story

by jmajerus



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Co-Written, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-10-19 14:26:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17603048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jmajerus/pseuds/jmajerus
Summary: Icy Nesta and All Around Nice Guy Cassian meet in a modern AU.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My friend and I decided to co-write this piece after reading a prompt of "The main character is an all around great person and the narrator hates them with a seething passion" and we instantly thought of Nesta and Cassian. This story was written one paragraph at a time alternating Nesta and Cassian POV. Since it's pretty much every paragraph I broke it down as bold writing is Nesta and non-bold is Cassian. Likely to be a shorter fic.

**Oh Cauldron just drown me now, I thought walking into my favorite coffee shop.  It was my place, Mine!  But there was no mistaking that mother awful too loud voice booming with obnoxious laughter.  My eyes trace over the tables and armchairs until they land on his hulking figure with the ridiculous man bun on top of it all at MY normal table in the corner.  He had been everywhere I was the last few days.  The library, the grocery store, my favorite park and now my cauldron damned coffee shop that was MY sanctuary.  Already feeling a headache coming on, I signaled the barista to bring over my usual order and took a different table to open my laptop at.  I would have to make the best of this situation even if the only open table had been in an open area and people would bump my chair, breaking my concentration.  A few well placed icy glares had the nearest tables shifting away for a few extra inches at least.  The extra dry cappuccino delivered to my table a few minutes later helped drown out the chatter of the cafe as I started to write, except one obnoxious booming laugh.**

 

I could feel her glare like a chill up my spine as it landed on me. Sitting with Rhys and Az in a little coffee shop off the main streets in between Rhys's meetings and business deals. Everywhere I went, she seemed to be around the corner. The first time I saw her, her intense beauty stunned me, and I knew I needed to know her. I just couldn't figure out how to get past the iciness that coated her entire being. Perhaps just going up to her and asking her name would be a step in the right direction, but I didn't want to risk the chance of humiliation in front of my brothers. Not that it's ever happened before, but this girl seemed different somehow. Not like one of those girls I just had to flash a smile at. Good, I could use a new challenge. 

 

**I stopped typing long enough to take a sip of my drink and stopped to admire my work.  Fifty-seven chapters, almost two hundred thousand words, two straight years of work into building the concept, meticulous research, hours spent at the coffee shop, library, and park collecting inspiration and writing.  And soon, likely within the week, she would be finishing the novel and then it would be editing and sending it in to a literary agent.  I would be a big name in the writing world.  I would bring in big money and finally she would pay back Feyre for everything she had given and give Elain the flower shop she had dreamed of since she had been a child running through the garden.  Soon I would show them I could provide for them too.  And it was all on the laptop in front of me.  My daydreaming was cut short as my chair was bumped hard.  I was about to tell the dumbass to watch where they were going when something hot went over my shoulder burning my skin, soaking my favorite white sweater, and splashing onto the table and onto my laptop making sparks.  The screen flashed blue for a moment and then it went completely black.**

 

This was it, I was going to get up and talk to her. She looked slightly less intense as she typed away on her laptop, seemingly lost in the words. Cauldron, she was beautiful.

"I'm gonna go talk to her," I said to no one in particular, and rose from my seat before Rhys or Azriel could say anything. I was so focused on the back of her head that I didn't see the male push his chair from out under his table behind hers. I quickly tried to right myself, causing me to bump into her chair and spilling my tea right over her shoulder, on to her and her laptop. I watched in horror as Sparks flew from the computer and died. 

"I am. So. Sorry," I said as I quickly gathered some napkins to help clean up the spill. "I will pay for all the damage to your computer and the dry cleaning for your sweater." I looked up to find that icy glare settled on me in such a calm that I was almost afraid for my life. 

 

**Everything gone in a blink, fried.  Two mortal years of work for nothing and all due to the obnoxious man bun that had bumped into my chair.  Cold icy rage settled deep into my bones as he swabbed up what he could from the table and blabbed out apologies in that too loud voice.  His hazel eyes gained a hint of fear as I turned to face him.  Good.  I shoved my chair back, ramming into his legs hard.  Then I drew myself up to my full height.  Not enough to match the man who measured well over six feet tall but I, Nesta Archeron, have been known to cut down good for nothing men before.**

**"And how do you propose to restore the hard drive you just fried, you hulking barbarian bastard?"**

 

Her rage was intimidating as she stood in front of me. She was nowhere near as tall as me, but she still managed to look down her nose at me. She was the most beautiful female I had ever seen. She asked something about the hard drive being fried, mixed in with insults I've heard too many times in my life to count. I gave her my best lazy smile.

"Don't tell me you don't have whatever you were working on saved somewhere else," I said. "You look entirely too smart not to take that precaution." 

 

**I froze.  I hadn't saved it anywhere else.  The one time Elain had gifted me with one of those fancy little memory sticks that had looked like a ridiculous cat, it had been lost in days.  It was much harder to misplace a laptop, especially her laptop.  It was her prize possession.  The one thing she never felt bad about taking money from Feyre for because it was going to be their future.  Except now that future was fried by a cup of tea by this bastard standing over me and all I could do was stare.**

 

I could sense her panic the moment the words left my mouth. 

"Look," I said, trying to calm her down. "We'll take it to a computer repair shop. I'm sure they can save it. And like I said, I will pay for all damages." When she didn't move, I bent over to look into her eyes. 

"Hey, it's gonna be alright. We'll fix it, okay?" She still continued to stare. I had to do something, anything to get her to talk. To get her to trust me. "My name is Cassian," I told her. "What's yours?"

 

**"It's going to be _alright_?  You're _sure_?  And how are you so sure?  Do you make a habit of destroying people's livelihoods?"  I snapped at him.  He couldn't know if it was able to be saved.  And damn right he was going to pay for it.  He was going to pay for a hell of a lot more than that.  If everything was lost, he was buying me a top of the line new laptop and I would have to start again.  That prospect alone pissed me off more.  Why should I have to restart two years of hard work because he was a hulking brute?  Even if he was a good looking hulking brute.  No.  I gave myself a mental kick to stop that train of thought.  This bastard had ruined everything and I couldn't wait to be rid of his obnoxious everything!**

"At least I'm trying to help," I snapped back at her, my anger finally getting the best of me. "But if you want to sit her and sulk, by all means, go ahead." I turned away from her, prepared to go back to my table. " I came over to talk to you because I thought you were beautiful. Too bad your personality doesn't match." 

 

**I didn't know why it hurt so much to hear him complain about my personality.  I wasn't warm and fuzzy like Elain.  She was the beautiful one.  Feyre was the strong one.  And I was cold.  No one had ever accused me of being likeable, so why did this man get under my skin with those words?  It infuriated me even more that he had gotten in so quickly, but I was getting what I wanted.  He was leaving and he would likely leave me alone now.  That was good, right?  Except it wasn't.  I felt something urging me to stop him.  At least I had a decent excuse to keep him around for another minute or two that wouldn't appear as if I had any actual interest in him, which I didn't, I was sure of that much.**

**"Wait," I sighed.   He stopped in his tracks and angled an ear back at me.  "I might be a bitch but you're still fixing this laptop.  If you don't, I'll remove your favorite part for ruining everything I've worked for."**

 

I couldn't help but smile to myself. Even though she wasn't particularly friendly, I felt drawn to this woman; like I needed to be around her. I feigned a sigh and turned back to her. 

"I know a really good shop down the street," I said. "That's where I do most of my business. If anyone can salvage it, they can." I waited for her to gather her things and set off down the street. The silence was tense, and I could still feel the anger radiating off of her. 

"I never said you were a bitch, by the way," I said, hoping to break the tension. "And I truly am sorry." 

 

 **"You didn't say it," I replied, "but you meant it."  What else could my personality not being beautiful mean?  I readjusted my bag off of the burn on my shoulder just to relieve some of the tension.  "It's fine.  Everyone says it."  In fact, most people said it to my face.  Feyre said it often enough when the two of us fought, not that I didn't say equally appalling things first that had Elain covering her ears until we had slammed our respective doors.  But perhaps he was just too nice to say such a word to my face.  Seeing him everywhere I had gone the last few days had given me that impression.  Playing with kids at the park, helping little old ladies in the grocery store, and now whatever** this was.  I felt my anger quell a little.  A bumbling idiot but likely he had meant no harm.

 

"Everyone?" I asked. That had to be rough, hearing everyone you meet call you names. Hell, I could relate. Everyone I met called me a brute or bastard. I snorted.

"I know how that feels," I told her. "Because of my size and job, I'm called names too." We walked in silence a little longer. 

"You never told me your name." 

 

**I had been hoping he would forget but it seemed he remembered he hadn't gotten that answer yet.  Part of me wanted to give him a fake name just to make sure he would never be able to track me down again, but it was likely that would backfire.  Things like that always backfired for me.  But it was fine.  If I needed to get rid of him later, I could turn the ice back on full again and he would turn tail and run again.  I had almost run him off once, it would be just as easy the second time.**

**"Nesta," I grumbled.  Then, because I was curious and also wanted to deflect from myself I asked, "what is it you do that makes people call you a brute?"**

 

Nesta. It was a beautiful name for a beautiful lady. 

"Well, Nesta," I started, savoring the way her name felt on my tongue, on my lips. I wondered what else would feel good. I shook my head of those thoughts. "I'm the head of security for a pretty big company here in Velaris, and sometimes I piss off quite a few people." I gave her a small smile, telling her that I had that talent as well. 

"Ah, here we are," I said, stopping in front of a shabby looking storefront. "Best computer repair in town." 

 

**I bet he had a talent for pissing people off.  He pissed me off by existing.  There was not one chance I was the only person in the world he had that effect on.  Instead of acknowledging what he had said, I turned my attention to the storefront with a raised an eyebrow.  If they were the best, there was no way they would have such a crappy storefront.  They would be able to afford a sign that wasn't crumbling and a window washer to get the grime off the windows so one could see inside properly.  I heard Cassian let out a little chuckle at my clear opinion but he led the way inside anyway.  I clutched my bag close as I looked around at aging carpet, florescent lights, and parts of computers on metal shelves with handwritten price tags.  I hardly even noticed Cassian had left my side until his obnoxiously loud voice disrupted the eerie quiet of the place as he called me up to the counter.**

The look of disgust was clear on her face as she slowly walked up to the counter. I tried not to laugh as she avoided touching anything, as if something would reach out and grab her. I turned to the male at the counter, and shook his hand. 

"Bill! Good to see you again," I said. "I have a complicated one for you." I launched into the explanation of what happened to Nesta's laptop. Bill listened intently and nodded his head along. 

"Hmm, yes," Bill said when I was done explaining. "It shouldn't be too hard to get the information off the hard drive. As for fixing the whole computer, that depends on whether the motherboard is fried or not. Which I'm assuming it is, since it sparked and died." He paused and scratched his chin  "It's gonna take me a couple of days, so I'll give you a call when it's ready." 

"Thanks, Bill." I shook his hand again. "We'll leave you to work your magic." Bill gave us a smile and waved as we left the shop. 

 

**Standing outside the shop was awkward at best.  Now that my laptop was in Bill's 'capable' hands, there was no reason for me to stick around Cassian and he certainly had no reason to stick around me.  Not that I wanted him to.  I certainly did not want him around me any more than necessary and it was no longer necessary.  Despite that, I held out my hand to him expectantly.  When he looked confused I flicked my fingers at him.**

**"Phone," I wiggled my fingers to suggest he hand it over quickly.  I saw the insufferable smirk smear itself across his face and it sparked my anger back into a flame.  He opened his mouth to no doubt say something equally obnoxious and cocky while his phone was placed in my hand so I held up the other hand to forestall whatever he was going to say.  "You will call me only when my computer is fixed.  I will not accept texts from you.  I will not accept calls from you.  Your number will be screened to voicemail whenever it shows up on my phone.  Only when my computer is fixed will I deem to meet you anywhere and only for my computer, is that clear?"  I finished entering the contact information, but I withheld the phone waiting for his response.**

 

I listened to her list of demands; the smirk growing on my face. "We'll see about that," I said as I grabbed my phone out of her hand. "I'm not that easy to get rid of." I saw the spark of anger in her eyes, but something made me want to stir it up. To poke at it. It was entirely too easy to set her off, to get under her skin. I definitely wanted to see how far I could go. But not yet. Not today. Perhaps when her computer comes back. "Let me know when you want to go computer shopping," I said. "After all, you expect me to pay for that too." I gave her a mock of a bow. "Until then, miss Nesta." I turned on my heel and strode back to the coffee shop where Az and Rhys were definitely waiting for some answers. 

 

**I watched him go.  We'll see about that indeed.  Cocky bastard.  I huffed as I turned to walk home.  I would not be answering the phone from his texts or calls.  He would only get the barest response from me when he received word my computer was ready.  And once I had my new computer and my novel back, I could block his number completely.  I was barely a block away when I heard my phone vibrate.  Looking down I saw his number on the screen.  Since I knew my computer wasn't done already, I swiped the notification to the right to get rid of it making sure it wouldn't say I had read whatever message he had sent.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, Nesta in bold and Cassian in plain text.

It had been a few days since my first interaction with Nesta. Every day, I made sure to text her, to fill her inbox with messages that I knew she wouldn't respond to. 

"Maybe the girl just isn't interested," Azriel said as we were sparring one day. I had told him and Rhys of our encounter, and they both believed I would end up maimed or dead if didn't leave the girl alone. But I couldn't. She was under my skin now. And I was sure that I was under hers. It was just a matter of time before she would come around. My phone vibrated where I left it on a table close to the sparring ring. Bill had called and left a voicemail.

"Yes, hi Cassian. This is Bill," the voicemail said. "I managed to save what was on the hard drive, but unfortunately I was unable to salvage the computer. It's ready for pick up." He gave me a total, which was always a steal, and I scrolled through my list of contacts before I landed on Nesta's name. 

 

**My phone vibrated again and I felt the urge to throw it out the window.  Cassian had messaged me at least hourly since he had gotten my number.  I hadn't read them making a point for him to see I was sticking to what I had said.  But this time was different.  The vibrations kept coming and I realized it was a phone call.  Looking at the screen I saw it was indeed Cassian.  I sent him straight through to my voicemail.  If he had something to say, I could listen to it and best of all he wouldn't have a single way to see I had heard it until i responded.  A moment later the voicemail came through and I waited another minute before listening.  At least he hadn't wasted my time, it truly was about my computer.  A sigh of relief went through me as he reported my hard drive information had been recovered but that the computer would have to be replaced.**

**I let half an hour pass before I called back.  "Meet me tomorrow at that computer repair place at three," was all I said into the receiver when I heard Cassian pick up.  I did not give him a chance to respond as I hung up.  As texts started to roll in again I felt a wave of satisfaction crash through me.  I wouldn't read a single one of those either.**

 

Cauldron, she was stubborn. She hadn't answered a single text I had sent her. If she wanted to play this game, I would play this game. It was only a matter of time before I got her to crack. She told me to meet her at the shop at three, so I purposely took my time walking there so I would be a few minutes late. I could sense her glare before I even set eyes on her, and for some reason, I found it rather amusing. Not that she couldn't kick my ass if she wanted to, but I liked the feeling of ruffling her feathers up a bit. I caught a glimpse of her as I meandered around the corner, and the sight almost took my breath away. Cauldron, she was stunning. I plastered a lazy grin on my face a strode over to her. 

"Miss Nesta," I said in greeting. "Sorry I'm late. It's such a beautiful day out."

 

**The audacity of him!  Not only was he late but his lame excuse made it clear he had taken his time on purpose.  At least I was almost done with him.  All I needed was my work from my hard drive, a replacement computer, and then I could block his number.  Avoiding him would be easy after this.  His obnoxious voice tended to announce him a mile away and if that wasn't it, it was his hulking size that made him easy to spot.  She could escape any future interactions with him.   She just needed to hold on a few more minutes.**

**"Took you long enough," I snapped.  "Hope you enjoyed the beautiful day enough.  Waste my time again and I'll make sure you don't live to see another."  I flashed him another glare and then turned to walk into the store only glancing back to make sure he was following.**

My smile widened at her threat, and it took all of my will power not to laugh as I followed her into the store. She probably would have slain me right then and there if I did let a chuckle out. Though she was beautiful, I still valued my life. I shook hands with Bill once again and paid for the expenses of Nesta's laptop. I thanked him one more time, and Nesta turned on her heel without saying a word. I caught her arm and spun her around. The look on her face was white hot rage as she looked at my hand wrapped around her upper arm. 

"Just because you're mad at me," I said before she could say anything. "Doesn't mean you can leave without thanking this man for saving your work." 

**Where his hand was on my arm burned.  I was not a warm person.  Not in nature or in body.  I had heard a past interest say my heart was so cold that even my body lacked heat.   But where Cassian was touching was a pleasant burn and I hated him for it.  I made sure to give him a pointed glare before I tossed a quick 'thanks' over my shoulder.  Then I shook his hand from my arm and walked out.  Oddly, where his hand had been felt like I had ripped a much-needed limb from my skin.  I could feel Cassian's eyes boring into my back.   The warmth leeched from the area once more and despite my resolve to act as if he couldn't affect me, I shivered.**

I sighed and shook my head. Her arm was like ice where I gripped it, and I could still feel the cold on the palm of my hand. Even though she had a poor attitude, there was just something about her that made me want to stay. As much as I wanted to walk away from her, to never speak to her again, the urge to stay was stronger. I thanked Bill one last time and walked out of the shop. 

"Would you like me to buy your computer now, or have you had enough of me for the day?" I asked her. I was prepared for some sort of backlash for me even thinking about laying a hand on her and I braced myself for the harsh names she knew how to wield better than any weapon. 

 

**Cauldron, I was so cold.  I almost wanted to demand he hold my hand or touch my arm again just to find some semblance of warmth.  The chill had settled in deeper than before and seemed to be taking root.  I resisted the urge to shiver once more and turned to look at Cassian.  Was I done with him for the day?  Had I had enough?  Well, yes.  Any moment with him was too much.  But did I want to prolong this torture another day or two?  I wasn't sure.  There was a chance, if I prolonged it, he would take that as some sort of sign I wanted this to continue but at the same time, telling him I could continue meant I could tolerate him, which I absolutely could not.  I settled for meeting his warm hazel eyes and warmth pooled into my core, pushing back that chill.**

**"Where do you recommend we buy the computer?"  The question escaped me before I could stop it and I could only hope it didn't sound too eager.**

Her question surprised me. I had thought that she would lash out at me with that harsh tongue of hers, but nothing brutal came out. 

"Come on," I said, nodding down the street. "There is a place downtown I usually go to. Too far to walk though. We'll have to take my car." I paused and looked down at her again. "Unless that is an issue for you?" I expected a glare, but she just shook her head. Maybe I was getting through to her after all. I gave her a small smile and started in the direction of my car. "Now, miss Nesta. What kind of computer are you looking for?" 

**I was sure of which car was his the moment we came into sight of it.  Of course it was the oversized, brand new looking Escalade, dark red, and polished to a high shine with the windows tinted almost to illegal levels.  He would be that kind of person.  Equal amounts of wanting to appear rugged but also full of luxury.  The way he brushed his hand along the door to open it told me how much he valued his car.  Good, it told me where to strike when he was bound to get out of line again.  I took out my phone and snapped a picture of the car and then the license plate.  When Cassian gave me a smirk, I raised an eyebrow back.**

**"I'm sending those pictures to my sisters so they know who to hunt down if I disappear."  He let out a chuckle that sent a shiver down my spine, but he said nothing about it.  As I took my seat and looked at the expensive leather interior and all the gadgets on the console, I felt a smile tug at my lips.  "I want my computer to be like your car."**

"Sure, rob me of all my money," I said sarcastically. But I like your expensive taste." I didn't let her know that I saw the small smile on the corners of her mouth. A mouth that was almost impossible not to stare at. A mouth that I wanted to taste more than anything. I started the engine and drove to a place where top of the line technology was sold. Working for a man like Rhysand Nox for a living definitely had its perks. And even though I had made a joke, I was sure I would spend all my money on this woman of she asked me to. 

"Are you sure you can handle all the features," I purred as I drove. 

 

**I snorted at his obvious attempt to be dirty.  "If you can handle the features, they can't be that complicated.  I think I'll be just fine."**

**I turned to look out the window instead of looking at him.  It was too easy to stare when he was focused on the road.  Too easy to notice how ridiculously handsome he was.  Whether he thought I was ignoring him or he was focused on driving, he said nothing else to me until we pulled up to a very expensive looking computer store.  Good.  At least this place looked more reputable than his last store he had taken me to.**

It was harder to focus on driving than it should have been. She was so close in the car. I loosed a breath when I pulled into the parking lot of the store and put the car in park. So she wanted a computer with all the gadgets. I figured she had no idea what that meant in the world of computer technology. To be honest, I didn't even know what most of the buttons in my car did. I quickly unbuckled my seatbelt and climbed out of the car to find that Nesta was already halfway across the parking lot. A spark of ire went through me. I could leave her here, I thought to myself. Nesta paused and turned back to make sure I was following her. I gave her a smirk and sauntered over to her and past her into the store. 

 

**As the salesman rattled on about various features, I kept my face coldly blank.  What did I know of ram or what a solid-state hard drive was?  All I really cared about was internet and a word processor.  I didn't use it for anything else.  But I certainly didn't want to be called out about my demands or my ability to understand them.  Cassian stood next to me, a solid mass radiating warmth as he listened to the salesman with seemingly rapt attention, a smile on his face.  I let my eyes wander away from the $2,000 laptop that was being showcased to us to see one that drew my eye.**

**"What about that one?"  I asked, cutting off the salesman's pitch about the graphics card.**

**"Oh, that's not nearly as impressive as this one," the salesman tried.**

**"Did I ask for your opinion?"  I narrowed my gaze at him until he practically flinched.**

**"Well, it's a good enough computer if you're mostly using the internet and word processor.  Nothing too flashy.  Good storage space on it."  He shrugged, obviously trying to downplay any worth the computer had.  "Now this one--"**

**"Don't bother.  I want that one," I pointed at the one that had drawn my eye.  The salesman looked to Cassian who tucked away a smirk and simply shrugged.  I was in charge and the salesman seemed to admit defeat.  The smirk returned to Cassian's face as he paid at the register.  It was only after Cassian and I walked back out to the car that I realized the computer had been the same exact color as his car.**

I couldn't help my smirk as I paid for Nesta's new computer. I felt an odd sense of pride as she picked out the one that matched the color of my car perfectly. That pride was quickly replaced by dread when we got back to the car. I did everything that she wanted me to do. No doubt she no longer wanted to speak to me or deal with me any longer than she needed to. I looked at her, hugging the box of her new laptop, and I dared to ask a question that might let be in her general vicinity for just a little longer. 

"Do..." I cleared my throat. I was nervous all of a sudden. "Do you need help setting it up? Or want help, that is. Or maybe getting your work off the old hard drive? I know a little bit about computers. Otherwise I can take you wherever you'd like to go." I dared to hope that she would need help. 

 

**What would it take to make this buffoon to leave me alone?  Normal people would have escaped the first moment I had glanced their way, yet this idiot didn't seem to have that sense of self preservation.  I turned his offer over in my head again and again.  His obligation to me was done.  I had my work.  I had a new computer.  He was done.  What possible reason did he have to stick around now?  Well I knew one reason he'd stick around, and I could squash _that_ hope right now.**

**"I'm not going to sleep with you.  This whole offer to help me set up isn't going to lead you anywhere and I won't be owning any favors.  Got it?"**

My anger finally got the best of me. "Way to make me out to look like an ass," I snapped. "I'm sorry, Nesta. I'm sorry for trying to be your friend." I knew I should have held my tongue, but my anger had turned into a fiery inferno inside of me. "I suppose you wouldn't know what it's like to have any friends." I gripped the steering wheel so hard my knuckles turned white. I took a deep breath through my nose trying to reign the anger in, but it was too much. Too much having her in the seat right next to me looking at me. "You can either tell me where you want to go or get out." 

 

**Shame barreled through me taking away whatever warmth I had gleaned from him sitting next to him in the car.  No, I didn't know what it was to have a friend.  People didn't stick around me and usually I was fine with that.  I had Elain, my books, and my writing.  What else did I need?  But this man's anger at me, his jab at my inability to have friends, hurt.**

**"Just stop," my voice came out softer than I wanted.  The vehicle came to a sudden halt and I didn't bother to think about how far I was from home or how long it would take to walk to the crappy apartment we lived in as I got out.  I didn't even bother to look as Cassian drove off.  I wouldn't take the bus; it was dirty, full of strange people, and I didn't know the routes anyway.  And I couldn't waste money on a cab.  Feyre would be pissed if I spent so much money.  That wasn't a fight I wanted to have tonight.**

**I went to a bench to sit to get my bearings.  Pulling out my phone I meant to open the map application, but my eye was drawn to the message app that showed all the unread messages from Cassian.  Well, what did it matter if he saw I read them now?  He wasn't ever coming around again.  So I opened up the messages and started reading.**

 

I shouldn't have left her. I felt like such an ass for getting so mad, but I couldn't go back to get her. Hopefully what I said had some effect on her. I don't know what made her so weary of people, so cold, but I would never find out. She would never want to talk to me again after the way I acted. I tilted my head back to the head rest at a stoplight and sighed. All the anger that I just had was gone and I felt like a fool and exhausted. I didn't know where to go. I didn't want to admit that Azriel was right and she wasn't interested in me, and I had no desire to explain things to Rhys. I didn't want to go home, I knew that all I would do is sit around and mope. I chanced a glance to the backseat to make sure my gym bag was there and headed for the gym. Maybe lifting weights would help.

 

**It took two hours to walk home from where Cassian had left me.  Two hours where the various texts had time to cycle through my mind again and again.  Most often was 'good morning sweetheart' or 'hey beautiful'.  But I wasn't beautiful or a sweetheart.  I didn't deserve those messages.  And as I entered the rundown apartment to see Feyre sitting at the table with her head in her hands, a pile of opened letters next to her.  Bill day.  She always looked like this when the bills were due.  Elain was nowhere to be seen but she could be heard cheerily humming in the bathroom, oblivious to Feyre's struggles.  Usually I pretended to be oblivious to it as well, but today I couldn't bring myself to be that careless.  There were always more bills than Feyre's income could handle and she usually pushed one or another off each month.  Feyre dragged her eyes up to meet mine and I saw the defeat in them.**

**"The library is hiring.  I was thinking of getting a job there and then I could help with some of this."  I flicked a hand over the letters, some stamped with the 'past due' in bright red ink.**

**"Really?"  The hope in Feyre's voice broke me as much as Cassian yelling at me.**

**"I'll apply tomorrow as soon as they open," I promised.  I didn't stick around to see the relief on her face, instead I went to my room and set up the computer so I could finish my novel and hopefully solve our problems sooner rather than later.**

I pushed myself harder than I usually did at the gym. Cauldron, I was such a dumb ass. I shouldn't have acted like that. I heard the hurt in her voice when she told me to stop. Anger sparked up in me again. But this time at myself instead of Nesta. I walked over to a free punching bag and set my Spotify playlist to some heavy metal and started beating away at the bag of sand. I lost track of time as I took my anger out on the bag. My phone went off a few times, no doubt messages from Azriel and Rhys asking why I had missed dinner. They could wait for an explanation. Flexing my hands against the soreness from punching a little harder than I should have. I checked the messages I had received while walking back to the locker room, and I was right. Messages of asking if I was ok, and if they should save me a plate. I quickly tapped out a reply, and I caught a glimpse of Nesta's name. Before I could talk myself out of it, I sent her a quick message apologizing for being a complete ass. 

 

**I spent a long time staring at my computer screen.  I tried getting into writing but all I could think of was Cassian yelling at me, the look on Feyre's face as she stared down at those bills no doubt feeling overwhelmed, and honestly, every time a person had scuttled out of my way upon seeing me coming.  I really was a bitch.  I had embraced the term, but part of me wondered if that was my downfall.  Well, a job at the library would be easy enough and it would bring in money to help Feyre.  That would solve one problem.  I heard my phone ping with a message and glanced down to see Cassian's name.  It was probably another reminder that I was a horrible person.  Rather than look at it, I put my phone on silent and went to bed.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All comments and kudos are appreciated. (I'm really trying to help my friend get more confident in her writing and I forward all comments directly to her.)


	3. Chapter 3

I went to bed feeling like an ass. I went to work the next morning feeling even worse. I tossed and turned all night replaying what happened with Nesta over and over again. She didn't reply to my apology the night before, confirming that she never wanted to speak to me again. Perhaps going back to the coffee shop and speaking to her there would help. The day went by in a blur, with a few worried glances from Rhys and Azriel. I shrugged off their glances and did my job like regular, not speaking much. Which is unusual for me. 

 

**The next morning I took off as soon as possible, not bothering to look at my phone.  I didn't need another reminder that Cassian thought, no-- knew, I was a ice hearted bitch.  Dressed as nicely as I could, I went straight to the library.  The head librarian knew me from all my research there and gave me a once over when I handed over my resume.  She looked it over and then sighed.**

**"I'm going to be honest with you because I know you will be fine with the bluntness.  You lack the qualifications needed for the job on paper.  Never having a job before is a serious mark against you."**

**I felt my hope start to fall apart.  No.  I had never had a job before and I really hadn't planned to start here but Feyre needed help.  I wasn't even sure of where to go from here.**

**"However," the librarian cut into my thoughts.  "The job has been posted for a while and there have been no other applicants.  You have spent a lot of time in this library the last two years and are familiar with the staff, our systems, and the building.  I think in this case we could make an exception.  Do you think you could start training today?"**

**I had had visions of going to the coffee shop right after this to work on my novel but all of those thoughts went out of the window.**

**"I would love to start right now."**

 

I sat at the coffee shop for over an hour waiting for Nesta. I could feel the hope slipping out of me, moment by moment. Eventually, after my tea had turned to ice, I heaved a sigh and walked out the door. My hands shoved in my pockets, I hunched as I walked back to my car. The same damn color as that damn computer. Cauldron, I was such an ass. I needed to talk to someone, anyone, just to get some of the weight off my shoulders. I pulled out my phone and texted my two brothers. My two best friends and asked them to meet me for a drink. Maybe they could offer some advice. 

 

**Feyre was in disbelief when I came home and told her about the job.  Elain more so as she seemed more naive about the struggles Feyre had endured to keep her two older sisters from starving or living on the streets.  Nonetheless Feyre insisted we have a proper celebration of my first job.  She took a long look at the pile of bills as Elain listed off all of the nice restaurants in town.**

**"We will celebrate next Friday when I get my first paycheck.  No use celebrating before then," I told them.  "Then we can go somewhere really nice."**

 

I felt better after having drinks with my brothers and telling them about my interactions with Nesta. They called me an ass, just like I knew they would, but it was teasing, playful. Azriel didn't say much, only not to dwell on it too much. Even though he was quiet, he spoke true when he did open up. Rhys told me it wasn't all my fault. We were like fire and ice, he said. We wouldn't mesh well at first, but things would work out in die time. I never heard back from Nesta in the days after our incident. I tried not to think about it too much as my brothers and I sat in our favorite restaurant toasting to Rhysand's most recent business deal. Building apartments for those with low incomes, and possibly getting the homeless off the streets. 

"To Rhys!" I rejoiced, holding my drink in the air. There was more I was going to say, but my eyes landed on an intense beauty, glaring at me from across the room. 

**How did he ruin everything?  We were finally out to celebrate my job.  Feyre was finally enjoying a night though I saw her looking at the prices on the menu with apprehension.  Elain was happily chatting about flowers and plants.  And for the first time in a while, I hadn't been thinking about Cassian and how he was probably cursing my name to the deepest levels of hell.  But then I had heard that loud, obnoxious voice boom across the restaurant.  Sure enough, straight across from me was Cassian with a group of people.  Probably the people he considered real friends, not horrible bitches like me.  And of course it had to be the one moment I was feeling good about myself and not thinking about him.**

**"Who are you glaring at?"  Feyre demanded.**

**"Nobody," I growled and turned myself back to my sisters and our celebration but somehow half of my attention remained on that heavy hazel gaze across the room.**

"She's here," I half whispered. Rhys and Azriel were looking at me like I had just seen a ghost.

"What was that?" Rhys asked. "Are you alright?" 

I swallowed hard and forced my gaze away from her. "Nesta is here," I repeated, louder this time. "She's the one glaring at me from across the room." My brothers immediately turned to look at her. Luckily, she had turned her attention back to the two women with similar features that she was with. I was willing to bet they were sisters. "Should I go talk to her? She hasn't read the apology message I sent to her. Maybe she really does hate my guts." I shook my head. What was this? This woman who made me doubt myself so. I have never backed down from a challenge. I took a deep breath through my nose, trying to steady myself. I have never backed down from a challenge, and it was something that I never intended to do. I released my breath, and set my drink down on the table. "Watch me make an ass of myself, boys." Without waiting for a response, I rose from the table and made my way over to Nesta's table. 

 

**A large shadow fell across my table and I refused to look up.  He must not have felt his message of how horrible I was had gotten through well enough.  Now he was here to make some scene in front of my sisters and this entire restaurant.**

**"Oh, hello.  Something we can do for you, Sir?"  Elain's happy voice made me cringe.  She would address him and make me have to face him.**

At least one of the sisters was friendly enough. The other one gave me a weary look, and Nesta wouldn't even look at me. 

"Hi. My name is Cassian. I actually came to apologize to Nesta. I was rude to her the other day." Her head snapped up at me, and I felt the ice spread across me, cooling my too hot face. Fire and Ice, Rhys had said. "I was sitting with my brothers and saw you sitting over here. I'm sorry for interrupting." I motioned to where Rhys and Azriel were sitting, staring at me. Rather, Rhys was staring at the sister who gave me the weary look, the look on his face was one of someone who had just walked into heaven. "Can we talk later?" I asked, turning my gaze back to Nesta. "Please?" 

 

**I stared at him.  He had come to apologize to me?  I was the one that had been in the wrong.  This couldn't be right.  I had to be hallucinating.  But Elain kicked my leg under the table to break me of my stupor.**

**"I should think you were quite clear enough the other day.  What more needs to be said?  You owe me nothing else.  Perhaps you should enjoy the company of people that you actually like."  I looked away from him then and downed my glass of wine in one gulp.**

She had to make things difficult. Maybe she just wasn't interested in me. But I couldn't just walk away from her. No matter how hard she tried, and how tempted I was to leave her to her own misery, I wanted to help her get out of it. I wanted to ease her pain. And I had just added to it. "I think there is a misunderstanding somewhere here. I don't exactly know what I was clear or unclear about." I smiled broadly at her sisters. "Perhaps you'd all like to join my brothers and I for a drink." I suggested. I turned to the one that had yet to speak. "I think Rhysand would like to meet you." I gave her a wink and stood back from the table. "Drinks are on me, ladies." 

 

**"Oh that would be lovely, Mr. Cassian," Elain rose and offered her arm to him.  I almost rolled my eyes.**

**"May we have a moment?"  Feyre cut in.  Cassian nodded and returned to his table after offering a tight smile.  Only after he was gone and Elain had sat did Feyre turn to me.  "Would you prefer we turn him down?"  I blinked.  Here she was trying to protect me again even though I was the oldest.**

**"He's offering to pay for our drinks," Elain pressed.  "He can't be that bad and the men with him are gorgeous.  My vote is we go."**

**"Excuse me," Feyre rose and before I could stop her, she made her way to Cassian's table.  They exchanged a few words and then she was on her way back after the very brief exchange.  I could see Cassian's friend staring at her the whole way.  She took her seat and looked between me and Elain.  "We should join them, but only after we have eaten dinner.  We did come here to celebrate together after all.  So let's do that first."**

**I knew I had lost when both of them were in agreement so I simply nodded my confirmation.  I ordered my dinner when the waiter came around but I could feel Cassian's eyes on me as the food arrived and we ate.**

 

The girls took their time eating their food. I could tell Nesta was eating extra slow to delay having to come over and have a drink with us. Sometimes I didn't know why I bothered. Her sister, Feyre seemed nice enough though, and Rhys couldn't seem to take his eyes off her. I didn't get a chance to introduce them when she came over and spoke to me, asking what I wanted to apologize for. She seemed content with my answer and sat back down with her sisters. When they finally finished their meal, the three stood and join my brothers and I at our table. We all ordered our drinks, and there was a tense silence for a moment. Azriel cleared his throat subtly, jolting me into speaking. 

"Nesta, these are my brothers, Azriel and Rhysand Nox," I told her. I don't know why I threw in Rhys' last name in there. Maybe to make myself seem more important. Perhaps it was because I was tired of Nesta looking down her nose at me. 

 

**Nox.  I knew that name but I couldn't quite think of where.  Maybe it had been in passing but I didn't quite think so and the way that Rhys was giving Cassian the unimpressed look told me that he didn't like his name being said.**

**"Wait... Nox.  The Rhysand Nox?"  Elain asked, her eyes widening just slightly.  When he nodded, she started bouncing in her seat.  "He owns Nox Industries!"**

**I kept my jaw from dropping just barely.  Half because the noted richest and most powerful  businessmen in Prythian was in my presence, staring at my youngest sister as if she were the moon and half because this was a person Cassian called his brother.  It was no wonder he owned some fancy vehicle and didn't mind dropping money on a laptop for some poor girl.  I was probably some charity case to someone as wealthy as him.**

**"My sisters," I managed to squeeze out of a suddenly tight throat.  "Elain and Feyre."**

"Pleasure to make your acquaintance," Rhys said smoothly, extending his hand to Feyre. She blushed slightly and grasped his hand, a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. Azriel nodded in greeting to the three of them, keeping his hands on his lap under the table. 

"Cassian here was telling is how he made a fool of himself the other day," Az said quietly to Nesta. "His temper does get the better of him sometimes. Please, do forgive him so he will shut up." Elain suppressed a giggle with her hands, and Feyre's face lit up with a smile, making Rhys smile in return. 

"Something tells me that's not possible," Feyre said. The whole table erupted with laughter. Except for Nesta. She didn't smile, she didn't laugh. All she did was sit there and scowl.

 

**His brothers and my sister seemed to be getting along famously, mocking Cassian.  He seemed good natured enough to take it, far from the temper that they were talking about.  Perhaps that was just reserved for her.**

**"So what do you say, Nesta, forgive him so his brothers can have a chance at some silence?"  Elain asked, laying a hand on my arm.  All eyes turned to me and silence fell.  I hated it.  I didn't want this attention.  But the only way to make it go away was to forgive the bastard for being right about me.  It wasn't like I would have to see him again after this moment.  It didn't even have to be genuine.  I just needed to say the words.**

**"Fine.  You're forgiven."**

Her words were nothing but a cop out. Nothing more than to get the attention off of her. I don't know why, but it grated my nerves to hear her say the words. I wasn't looking for forgiveness. I was looking for the chance to actually say that I was sorry. Hearing her say those words was just a slap in the face. I wanted to call her out on her bullshit, but I decided that making a scene in my favorite restaurant probably wasn't the best idea. Instead, I gave her a tight-lipped smile and said, "Thanks." Without giving anyone a chance to speak, I rode from my seat. "I'm going to order another round of drinks and hit the can. I'll be back shortly." Going to the restroom was just an excuse. I had to walk away before my temper got the best of me. I knew my brothers could feel that something was wrong. That something was off. I tried to make things right with this girl to have it thrown back in my face. 

 

**Awkward silence followed Cassian leaving the table.  It was clear he wasn't happy and that I was the source.  His brothers kept passing looks between them as if they were speaking without words.  They passed me enough glances for me to know I was possibly the subject.  And my own sisters weren't much better.  Elain was invested in the floral print of her skirt and Feyre was simply watching me as of she were studying me.  I felt my temper rising and my cheeks start to flush.  I opened my mouth to tell her to mind her own damn business but she stood just as the words failed to come out.**

**"I need to use the ladies’ room."  She informed the table and slipped away.**

The cold water helped soothe my temper as I splashed it on my face. Curse that wretched woman and her intense beauty. Curse her cold demeanor. I wanted to melt the ice around her heart, but she made it so damn unbearable to even be nice to her. I patted my face dry with a paper towel and prepared myself as best I could and left the restroom. Only to run into one of her sisters. Feyre. The one whom Rhys was head over heels for. 

"Cassian, can I talk to you for a second?" She asked. I nodded for her to continue, and she took a breath. "Believe me, I know how Nesta is. She's not the easiest person to deal with, but I think it's because she feels too much, and she doesn't know how to process it. So it comes out as coldness, or anger. I don't know what happened the day you bought her computer, but something changed. She offered to get a job at the library to help out with bills. She's never offered to help with anything before." Feyre paused and examined my face. "I think you'd be good for her. Just don't give up quite yet." She gave me a small smile and patted my arm. "Now go, before they think we're up to something." Giving me a playful wink, she walked towards the ladies room. I could see her and I becoming fast friends. 

 

**Cassian returned with that damned cocky smile back on his face.  But instead of speaking to me, he turned his attention to Elain, drawing out a conversation about flowers and plants until well after Feyre returned.  Talk then turned to Feyre and her work, her cheeks flushing as she talked about waiting tables to one the most powerful businessmen in Prythian.  It didn't seem to be deterring Rhysand any though as his eyes stayed trained on Feyre as though she might disappear if he looked away.**

**"And what is it you do, Nesta?  Your computer seemed pretty important," Rhysand asked when Feyre ran out of things to say.**

**"I work at the library and write in my spare time," I explained.**

**"Are you looking to get published?"  Rhysand pressed the conversation forward until we were talking about my book and how to seek a literary agent.  We spoke until it got late enough that Elain was yawning.  That alone prompted an end to the drinks.  I pretended not to see Rhysand slipping Feyre his number as we strode towards the door together.  It was easy to do as Cassian caught my eye and held it, telling me he had something more to say.  He jerked his head and moved away from the others outside, a clear indication I was to follow.  Likely he was taking back his apology and didn't want the others to hear.  It was best to get this over with so I followed without looking back.**

I took a deep, studying breath before I turned to face Nesta. "I did want to apologize, you know," I said before she could bite my head off. "And I meant what I said, about wanting to be your friend. You just don't make it very easy." I leaned against the side of the building and crossed my arms. "I shouldn't have left you like that. I've been beating myself up for it the last couple of days, and I'm sorry. Truly. I'm not going to apologize for what I said, because part of me thinks you needed to hear it, but I'm sorry for losing my temper. And I'm so sorry for making you get out of the car. I don't know what I would have done if anything happened to you." I stopped talking, keeping my gaze on the ground, expecting Nesta to flip out and say something to cut me down.

 

**I stared at him.  He was apologizing and I knew he meant it.  Not about the words which we both knew I had deserved, would always deserve, but for being mad.**

**"You have nothing to be sorry for.  You were right.  I don't know what it's like to have friends."  I shrugged, feeling the cold of the night seeping into my skin.  "I can't blame you for getting angry either."  I shouldered my purse and looked to where Feyre and Elain were walking away towards the bus stop that would take us home.  "Don't worry about it.  I'm fine and you can let it go."**

I could do nothing but stare at her as the words left her mouth. She didn't bite my head off. She understood why I got angry. 

" Do you want to?" I asked her, before she could walk away. "Know what it's like? Because I would very much like to be your friend." She shifted on her feet. "Just think about it," I said, knowing she had to get back to her sisters. "You have my number."

 

**I let the words settle in like stones in water, one at a time making ripples of thoughts as I walked away without saying anything more.  I could feel his eyes still on me as I caught up to my sisters.  They didn't comment on my absence or my failure to join in the conversation about Feyre calling Rhysand or not.  I wasn't sure I wanted to be friends with anyone.  Friends meant commitments of some kind.  At the least I'd have to see that buffoon for outings.  I'd have to give up my sacred personal time.  And he would want to talk.  I'd have to listen to him and his damn cocky, obnoxious voice, and look at his stupidly handsome face, and ridiculously muscled body.  I felt my blood go hot in my veins at the thought and I wasn't sure I liked that at all.  So I did what I had been doing best, ignored my phone and any thoughts of sending Cassian a message of any kind.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, our wonderful readers. All comments are more than welcome. Sounds like we plan to continue on for a while longer!

**Author's Note:**

> All comments, reviews, and kudos are very welcome. We always love hearing whatever people have to say.


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